Questions to Ask Tarot Cards About Love
Last Updated: May 23, 2022
Love is such a beautiful and powerful force, as an ancient and continuous mystery, everlasting in the magic and influence it has on us. Yet it can be a painful and often complex thing, elusive yet constant. And while many flocks to love readings, many also have sworn off them. I want to assure you that both are valid. Wherever you stand with love readings, I want to offer you a different way of relating to and approaching them.
As a Taurus Venus, I see love, connection, desire, and beauty, as part of ourselves that is deeply in need of celebration and nourishment. Love readings, if done with the intention of understanding and growth, can be incredibly transformative. If love is our desire, why do we deprive ourselves of understanding it? Why do we shame the yearning for knowledge of it?
Yet the search for answers to love through tarot and divination is not easy. Love readings are not necessarily feel-good readings or for those who are attached to a certain outcome. So do your best to approach them with an open heart and open mind, but most of all, compassion and curiosity!
Build Intimacy & Communication in Love through Tarot
I already mentioned the transformative power of love readings, but why should you use tarot to nurture intimacy and communication with yourself and others? One of the reasons why I was first drawn to tarot, and keep it as central in my occult and witchcraft practice, is that it’s an incredible tool for fostering self-awareness and accountability.
But it’s all in what question and what type of question you ask. Which is something many readers say, but it’s the most repeated piece of advice for a reason! Knowledge is only useful and impactful when it can water our transformation and aid us in our sovereignty, as well as our healing. Aside from all the magical fun you can have with it of course! Which is still important!
Questions for Your Love Readings
Feeling ready and desiring a potion of honesty and metamorphosis to your love life? Wanting some insight that is actually useful and not just “do they like me”? These are some questions for you to explore! Be gentle with yourself, no matter the answer, and know that you have the power to do what is best for yourself. You deserve to have your desires honoured beautifully and with respect.
Questions about past relationships
- What is it about this past relationship that was attractive to me?
- What desire did that person represent? And how can I fulfil that for myself?
- How have I betrayed myself in my past relationships?
- How can I release the fears from my past connections?
- What did I not allow myself to grieve in this past connection?
- How can I invite my inner child’s sense of adventure into my relationships?
- Am I being called to let go of this person/connection?
- Am I still holding onto someone/people from the past?
- How have I sabotaged my connections? What warning signs should I be aware of?
- Do I still have romantic feelings for this person/persons?
- Do I have a tendency to simplify how I truly feel about someone/people?
- Am I more comfortable living in the past when it comes to my connections?
- Why is this connection/situation haunting me?
- How can I get closure for myself?
- What ideals and illusions from this past connection do I need to confront? How am I still holding onto them? And why?
- Am I just projecting wishful thinking about this person/persons coming back into my life as a connection?
- What needs to die and transform in my love life?
Questions about relationships
- What cycles do I need to work through and break in my love life?
- How can I build better trust with myself?
- What ancestral patterns are showing up in my love life currently? And how can I break them?
- How can I embody the love I desire in my everyday life?
- What desires am I repressing? And why?
- How can I express love more freely to myself and others?
- Am I genuinely attracted to this person?
- Is this connection authentic to my values? Why or why not?
- Why do I feel so connected to this person/persons?
- What is the current theme/are the themes being highlighted in my love life for me to focus on?
- What are the current theme/themes needing nurturing in this connection and in myself?
- How can I foster compassion and care for myself in my love life?
- Why did this connection enter my life now?
- Is this person/persons open to starting over at this point in time?
- Do they also feel a deep connection with me?
- Am I putting this person on a pedestal?
- Am I over-romanticizing this connection/person(s)?
- What is the energy of this connection?
Questions about future relationships
- What can this connection potentially blossom into? And what guidance do you have for me?
- What is the next significant milestone in my connections and/or love life?
- What will embodying my desires attract in the near/far future?
- Does this connection/s have likely potential to be long term?
- What next chapter am I entering in this connection theme-wise?
- How can I release anxieties about the future of my love life/this connection?
- What message does my future self have about love?
- What are some upcoming challenges I need to be aware of in love?
- What cycle is ending and what cycle will be beginning when it comes to my relationship to love?
Some of my Favourite Cards to Show Up in a Love Readings * in the upright position
Although I want to say there are no “good” or “bad” cards to draw, there are of course especially favourable cards to get in a love reading. You’ll typically hear The Lovers, Ace of Cups, etc. being named as the ideal cards you want to see show up. But I wanted to bring attention to some of my favourite and not-as-often named ones. You might be surprised!
Six of Cups
Oh childhood joy! This card is one of my favourites, and it might become yours too! The Six of Cups can be bringing attention to your inner child’s imagination and perspective of love. It can also often mean the return of a past person, ideal, or even a strong connection from a past life that nurtures your inner child. It can also signify a deep spiritual inner child connection.
King of Swords
Nothing is more attractive than wisdom, honesty, and being clear in their intentions! Having the King of Swords come up in a love reading can mean that the person you’re asking about is someone who’s clear in their intentions and is a wonderfully honest communicator (most of the time).
When asking about a past connection or about yourself, this card is equally as wonderful, for it can signify that you have reached an important truth you previously weren’t aware of. Or alternatively, that you have strong values which allow you to take action towards your desires.
Although this card is often seen as controversial and often as a terrible card to get in love readings, I have a different relationship with The Devil. When this card appears it can mean the liberation of shame, an oppressive relationship, or a passionate connection. Think all things Luciferian, passion, creativity, truth, freedom, sovereignty, fun, etc.
This card can also appear when you are being called to honour your desires, especially your most hidden ones. In a future-oriented love reading, The Devil can signify that you are entering a new chapter that calls for you to think about the parts of yourself that you have been neglecting.
Related: The Devil Tarot Card Guide
The Cards You Want to Know About
Since I mentioned the most asked about and talked about cards in love readings, it’s only fair to include a bit about those as well!
The Lovers: Also one of my favourite cards, The Lovers can signify a significant connection, renewed creativity, and passion as well as genuine intentions and communication.
Ace of Cups: In the context of love, this card often symbolizes to me renewed hope, clear as well as nourished heart space, new gentle beginnings, reciprocity, self-love, and a leap to be made in a connection.
Two of Cups: Healing and heartfelt communication, mutual affection and love, mirroring of past and present self, coming home to your heart’s desires, and understanding each other (or yourself), are things this card can mean.
Nine of Cups: Your desires are being fulfilled and you or your partner(s) are most likely quite happy with your relationship and love. The Nine of Cups can also symbolize an emotionally maturing relationship or relationship to emotions, but still a bit more work to do. Almost there though!
Cautionary Wisdom about Tarot & Love Readings
As I said before, love readings and tarot readings, in general, are not necessarily feel-good. Although they can be, it’s important to be wary of projecting your own desired outcomes, your perspective of a situation, or falling into a habit of becoming dependent on tarot for external validation.
Some of the most impactful and best love readings are not about a certain person, but about yourself. When you check in with yourself and reflect more often, you are able to connect deeper with yourself, how you feel, where you’re going, and your growth. Creating a practice of self-awareness is key to healthy, passionate, and uplifting love.
Although approaching love readings can be daunting, and are often diminished, they are their own form of healing. Love is said to be powerful for a reason, never let anyone tell you otherwise. With this perhaps new perspective to love readings, you can be assured you will be feeling more connected to love than ever before.
Written by Emma Mendez
emma mendez / lavender luna (she/they) (@lavender.lunaa), is a venusian poet, bruja, psychic medium & santa muerte devotee, who centres her spiritual work around personal, collective transformation, & ancestral healing. always with an approach focusing on love, creation, & liberation through an underworldly & decolonial lens. they use their creative works & magic as a form of resistance and healing. blending tarot & mediumship, emma creates transformative experiences through lavender luna’s metamorphosis woods. she lives, creates, and studies on the unceded and ancestral lands of the Squamish, Musqueam and Tsleil-Waututh peoples, so-called vancouver, canada.
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