a difficult conversation

Tarot Spread for Difficult Conversations

Last Updated: April 25, 2022

We all know difficult conversations are difficult for a reason. They have the potential to cause upset, pain and conflict. We all have them from time to time – with our loved ones, colleagues or clients. No matter how well we prepare, there’s always an element of risk involved. Will the other person understand where we’re coming from? Will they get defensive and shut down? Or worse, will the conversation turn into a full-blown argument? However, if we don’t address them they will only continue to fester and grow. In this tarot spread, we will look at the energy we need before going into these difficult discussions, what boundaries we need to set and how best to communicate effectively with difficult people.

Self Care before the conversation

Before we even have to go into this situation of a difficult chat, we need to make sure that our cup is full. This means taking care of ourselves emotionally and physically. We need to be in a good headspace before we can even hope to deal with someone else’s difficult energy. This might look like taking some time out for yourself, doing some relaxation exercises or reaching out to your support network. If we go in when we don’t have the energy to ensure this is a constructive conversation, then you’re actually doing yourself a disservice by trying to set it up when you’re not ready yourself.

Difficult conversation tarot spread layout & questions to ask

How tarot can help in this circumstance is by giving you some guidance and clarity as to what you need to do. It can help to provide some confidence in handling the situation and also give you an insight into the other person’s difficult energy. This is an eight-card spread with a lot of supportive questions there for you at the beginning, and it can also give you insight into the behaviour of the other person. You could also add any new questions within this spread too, or pull additional clarifier cards for any questions you need more information for, as this is something that I’d do with myself. 

If you don’t feel that you’re in the space to pull these cards now, and it’s super important you respect your own energy levels, save this tarot spread for later or alternatively book a tarot reading with me so I can go through this with you.

To begin, shuffle your tarot deck and draw a card for each position in the mental health tarot draw (as shown in the below layout).

Finally, take some time to reflect on the questions that each card position represents and what message the tarot cards in that position might be trying to tell you. If you’re just starting to learn tarot, or if you’re still getting to know your deck, you may find my in-depth articles on the meanings of every tarot card helpful.

difficult conversation tarot spread

Tarot Card #1: Outside of my control influences

This first card demonstrates a nod towards things that are potentially going on that are nothing to do with you personally, and potentially something that even though it comes up in the conversation isn’t your responsibility and not productive to a conclusion for you both.

Tarot Card #2: Energy to prep & ground myself with prior

This second card advises a type of energy to embrace to help “fill your cup” before you get stuck into this conversation. Whether it’s a fire-based Wands recommendation of going for a run or going on a little adventure, or a Swords prompted journaling session or mental break by binging some TV shows, pay attention as this could be exactly what you need to ground yourself before the chat.

Tarot Card #3: Energy to take into the conversation

This third card is a suggestion of what energy to embrace for the conversation to help you keep yourself steady. Whether this is The High Priestess asking you to trust your intuition with whatever is said, or if it’s Pentacles energy asking you to keep grounded and logical (emotions may run high), this card wants you to remember what you need to do to keep yourself feeling safe and confident in this situation.

Tarot Card #4: The best way to effectively communicate with this person

A way to find out what is the best way for this person to listen, hear you, and understand, the fourth card is here to suggest ways that communication may be most beneficial for the other. Whether it’s the Sun suggesting you keep things light and highlight the happier times, or the Empress to acknowledge the creativity/abundance brought by this person into your life, the cards will suggest something to help this conversation feel like you are heard.

Tarot Card #5: Actions can we take to move forward

This fifth tarot card will show you some suggestions that can help this situation be drawn to a conclusion with actionable steps to move forward together. This may be The Tower card suggesting that drastic changes need to happen in order to rebuild, or it may be The Devil card which suggests some things need to be let go of in order for both parties to move on.

Tarot Card #6: Honoring & holding space for each other moving forward

This sixth card is very much a moving forward, letting go, healing card. It will show you how to best honor each other and hold space so that you can both move on from this difficult situation. This may be The Star card which suggests hope and faith for the future, or The World card which shows that by working together you can create something beautiful moving forward.

Tarot Card #7: Beliefs/ideals/mindset to help promote peace and harmony moving forward

The penultimate card for the reading is like tying up loose ends and to collectively decide the route of peace for you both in the future. This card may provide mindsets, “mantras” or clichés which can be incredibly beneficial for you both so that you can heal. The Hermit card may be here to suggest some time apart is necessary, or The Lovers which could be a sign that this difficult conversation was needed in order for you both to remember why you’re in this together. This card is the one that pulls it all together. It will provide a sense of closure and how to look after yourselves, so ensure you take its message from a place of love.

Tarot Card #8: What can wait to be discussed another time

This is a card I included because sometimes things aren’t relevant to what is needed to be discussed now, and what can actually wait till later. It may be something that you are aware of, or it may be something your counterpart may bring it up, so it’s something you may be prepared to set a boundary for.

Setting boundaries is incredibly difficult, and it’s important that during any conversation you are clear, concise and concrete – don’t break new rules you have to set or be lenient if someone doesn’t abide by them, because that doesn’t benefit you. If you say that something needs to happen, and it doesn’t, then there is accountability that needs to be taken. This can be difficult, but this is why having the tarot as a guide can really help you out.

I hope you enjoyed this tarot spread, and that it provides some guidance the next time you need to have a difficult conversation! If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out, and I wish you all of the luck & strength with this hard situation x


Written by Lizzie

I love curating divination experiences for those invested in spiritual growth with secular honest vibes. I am that witch you come to for these honest, interesting and beneficial divination experiences!

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